Sacred Things

I decided this week that there are some things that are sacred. I mean, they are so ingrained in our psyche that they are symbols of high ideals and profound wisdom. Millions hold the Bible as a sacred symbol of salvation, Christianity, wisdom, and moral direction. Our American flag is still sacred to the majority of Americans, regardless of what the media alphabet soup would have you believe. Once it was a global symbol of freedom. In recent years, that has shifted to a global symbol of the handout and criminal rights. Well, that's my take on it.

There are other sacred things around us. I'm sure you have your own list and we all know you don't mess with our sacred things. They're not to be trifled with and certainly not changed. Don't be taking no stars off that flag. Don't be moving the stripes. Hang it right side up unless you're a military installation in distress. Don't mess with the sacred!

Of course, the Powers That Be (PTB) always do. This week I looked and realized that someone has sinned greatly. Do you see it? For the uninitiated, that is a package of Nabisco Fig Newtons. Never mind that this contains fewer Newtons that the packages of the past. (And the content of this one is nearly depleted). That's bad enough. No. The problem here, the great transgression is not content. It is PACKAGING!

I don't know who decided that Fig Newtons should be packaged in a clear plastic tray, and then plastic wrapped in a bag with a resealable flap but you, sir, are way out of line. Fig Newtons are to be packaged in clear cellophane stacks. STACKS, sir, not trays! If I didn't love Fig Newtons so much, I would consign you to the backside of cookie hell. The flames of your ovens would rage ten times hotter and singe your eyebrows.

Fortunately for you, they are a great love of mine and I am forced to show mercy. However, I am not happy. Not only are they no longer stacked where I can simply pull out the stack and carry it with me, the entire package now contains little more than the content of one of the old STACKS! You hear me? A stack! So now, if I decide I want to travel and carry Fig Newtons with me I am forced to mete out a specific amount, put them in a Ziploc bag to protect their freshness, and put this in a lunchbox. Really? This is convenience? I think not.

You have profaned the sacred. Fig Newtons are forever changed unless someone comes to their senses and repents. I'm serious here.

Oh, and another thing. They are FIG Newtons, not strawberry, blueberry, or apple Newtons. There is no such thing as a Strawberry Fig Newton! Seriously, I know a lot of things have changed but a fig is a fig and a strawberry is a strawberry and never the twain shall meet!

I'm distraught, disgusted, and well, I'm out of 'd' words that work. This is an unconscionable act. I will leave this here now and try to console myself, perhaps with a glass of cold milk and ... Fig Newtons. From a tray. Not a stack.