Monologue

I'm a writer. I AM a writer. I am a WRITER! I AM A WRITER!

Yeah, you just keep saying that. You wrote like 400 words this week. Oh, and today's only Tuesday. Good job.

Shut up.

Hey, don't blame me for your shortcomings. I didn't decide to be a writer.

Does one really decide to be a writer? I mean, I don't have any actual memory of waking up one day and saying, "OH! I think I'll be a writer!"

Are you supposed to use so many exclamation points? Cause I don't think so.

Stop!

No, really. I'm pretty sure there is a limit.

I thought you said you weren't the writer?

I'm not. I'm the logical side, remember? Math is my strong suit. I can count.

Don't make me laugh. Math is your nemesis. You hate math.

Not really. You hate math. If I had my way I'd be good at it. 

You can't even answer a simple, logical question. So, does one decide to be a writer?

Do you mean are writers made or born?

Whatever.

I don't know. You are aware that we're not actually two people, right?

I'm not an idiot.

Good! That means I'm not either. Don't you know the answer?

I think they just are. I think writing, for some of us, is innate and I think something happens; we write something that flips a switch. From that point on, we just know we're writers.

So, I have a question. 

You do? Oh... sorry. What question?

Don't writers write?

Shut up.