Wow. I keep thinking things will get better. The writing is always so exciting but life, I don't now. Sometimes you feel like it is just out to get you. I had arm surgery on April 4th to repair my left rotator cuff. It was an old injury, happened around 1993. So, 30 years? Yeah.
They had me in a sling for several weeks, but I stopped wearing it after two. The pain it caused in my neck and back was just horrible, worse than the pain from the surgery. The physical therapy was exhausting, too. I'd come home and have to go to bed. That really shocked me. I couldn't use the arm for 6 weeks and after that, I had to be careful.
So, in June, just as therapy is winding down, I get an abscess tooth. Every single tooth on the right side of my mouth hurt. My ear hurt. My head hurt. My face hurt. For a month. It took two weeks just to find a dentist I could get in to see. I have an appointment for a root canal on the 18th, but that isn't all. I have another tooth that they need to pull and put a post in. That's will not happen, though. I don't have $5000 for a post. Nope.
So, with enough antibiotics and antiviral in my system, the pain lessened. I still have times when it hurts but I pray I can get through till the appointment. When I had the arm surgery, they gave me 56 Lortabs for pain. I used, over the 6 weeks, about 20. The rest I used in the month I had the mouth pain. Really. Abscess tooth is worse than arm surgery. I'm not kidding.
And no, there was no writing. I didn't reach my goal. I didn't even get close. I'm angry about it. I'm ready to just delete everything I have and forget it. I'm getting old. Time is running out. And I'm really just tired. No matter how hard I try to press on, something comes around the bend and flattens me. It's not fun anymore.
So, there we have it. There were some positives. My sister came in May 1st and stayed the month to help me because I couldn't do anything with the arm. Embarrassing but unavoidable. I mean, I couldn't even brush my hair! I hadn't seen my sister for 4 years and it was truly lovely to have her here. I had such a good time with her.
My sister went home at the end of the month and my granddaughter Sarah came on June 5th. She stayed till July 5th. I was so happy to have her home. Sarah is a ray of sunshine when she's here and we had great fun. We enjoy one another's company so much.
Now, here I am in the middle of July. I have thought about working on the writing but I'm so depressed over it I don't know where to start. All I've been doing lately is cleaning out closets and drawers, trying to get rid of things. I realized recently, someone is going to have to deal with all this junk, eventually. I'd rather do that myself. So, I'm taking one thing at a time and clearing it. When that's done, I've moved on to the next thing. It's working, but it is so slow.
The doctor's released me to go back to the gym and I want to do that, but getting started is tough. I know once I get back I'll be better. But the first step, that's the hardest.
I guess it is a summer of recovery. At least, I hope we recover something. Cause it feels like everything is just messed up.
