Some Days You Don't Want to Wake Up

Some days are just unpleasant. Today is no exception. I woke up feeling terrible: groggy, sluggish, sleepless. It was a rough night. And yet I dreamed pleasant dreams. A dark-haired man walked along the road with me and then hugged me. We sat down in the grass and he kissed me. I didn't recognize him but he felt familiar.

True story. 

I've missed him for several days now. I should have realized what time of year it is but totally forgot in the craziness of my ruptured disc, my pain, and the surgery. I've been too busy trying to recover and juggle NaNoWriMo to remember it is that time of year.

Yesterday I missed him and said, "I just wish I could talk to him and feel him hug me and kiss me." And I dreamed. I don't feel better for it. 

Writing about it today seems the most logical solution to all of it. I am, of course, a writer. 

As Mike left the house he said, "Dad always told me "You've got more time than money, son". It was like a blow to my heart. I miss him so much again. I nearly choked on my supper. It suddenly tasted like bitterweed.

And then, searching for something to work on I ran across something I started several years ago and forgot because it was too painful to write at that point. 

My husband died, suddenly, on a cold, dark night wrapped in ice, on a dead-end road, in our bed. I thought, before that night, that my life was planned and despite the bumps in the road, the detours, and derailments, it was going according to plan. But you can’t plan for life. There is no road map, no compass, no GPS. You just start walking, telling yourself that where you’re going is just up ahead and all you have to do is keep moving and you’ll get there. It isn’t true.

I didn't read any further. I know how the story ends. I'm not ready to re-live it. I'd like to wake up and find him there, next to me. Not drifting away on some insubstantial dream that leaves me feeling cheated. I missed him more after than before.

So...the festive season begins with a subliminal greeting card from Death, to remind me how very cruel and powerful he is. It seems I'm to get one every year.

NaNoWriMo: Pushing the Count

Thanks to Pixabay.com

Here's a new photo prompt to push that word count up. You're 5 days in and at the beginning of the Second Week Slump. 

So, find a way to incorporate the scene into your novel. You're a writer, you can dream up a reason he's out walking in the fog.

Photo Prompt Friday

Thanks to Pixabay.com

So, are you doing NaNo? Well, have a look at the photo and use the scene in your novel in some way. Don't worry. You can delete it on rewrites but at least you can use it to get more words. Who knows? You might find your story going in a new and exciting direction.

I managed to get 93 words today. That isn't much as NaNo goes but with the challenge I've been facing with the nerve pain in my hand and the back surgery to relieve a compressed spinal cord, I think it's pretty good. 

No, no excuses! Go write!

November Leaves

November is upon us and with it comes National Novel Writing Month. Remember that? 50,000 words written in 30 days?

Yes. That one.

Well, I'm not doing so well. With the ruptured disc surgery, I've been unable to even act as an ML outside of online. Thankfully, I have a great co-ML that is managing fine. I feel let down that I can't attend write-ins at this point but my hope is that in another week I might be able to do some online ones.

I'm not allowed to life anything over the weight of a gallon of milk. No pushing, pulling, or carrying heavy objects. So that knocks out my remodeling chores for a while. It is very frustrating because I have 5 rooms to address and a hallway. Never mind the finishing touches here in my dining/den/office. Did I say it was frustrating?

I haven't been writing yet either because the recovery has been difficult. The first week was horrible but things have improved and the doctor says the grip in my left (dominant) hand is amazing considering I'm only 2 weeks from the surgery.

 I can tell that some little improvements are happening but I really want the nerve pain to stop. It is horrible and makes it difficult for me to hold things in that hand for more than minutes. Writing with a pen is nearly impossible as it hurts terribly. I've taken to wearing a cover over the hand and wrist to alleviate the pain somewhat. It isn't much help but it seems to keep the nerve calmed a bit.

I finished one of my old novels a few days before surgery and now I need to edit and rewrite. I wanted to use November to finish another one but that plan fell thru with surgery. I'm still going to try and get it done before January 1. That's plenty of time. The nerve pain will play a part, of course, but I've been using speech recognition to write here and there so I think I can do that now.

I'm going to stop for now. Feel free to steal the top photo for a screen saver. I got the photo from Pixabay.com and the verse from the KJV Bible. Have a wonderful and blessed day.

Sometimes Things Happen

This is true. Today I did some writing. It was not a masterpiece. It was, however, writing on my story. It feels like something good happened, even though the writing sucked. 

Read back over the blogs and you'll find I've been unable to do very much writing. A ruptured disc in my upper back has caused severe pain and numbness in my dominant left hand and arm. So, writing is harder than normal. Surgery is scheduled for this coming Thursday so we'll see if we can do better in November.

But today... I wrote 1227 words. Not breathtaking prose. Not classical literature. Not a masterpiece. I just wrote the next to last chapter of a 103K word novel. Wow.

Who said Friday the 13th was unlucky?

1227 Words

Sometimes things just happen.