Gone Too Long

I hate this time of year. This is when I have to spend weeks convincing myself that I am a writer. I do it every January.
In general, after the insanity of National Novel Writing Month, Thanksgiving, followed by Christmas, and New Year I'm pretty wiped out. It takes me weeks to get back into a writing mode, much of it spent berating myself for my inadequacy, cursing my RA, and generally feeling rotten about the whole mess.

The last several months have been exceptionally frustrating. First, I had my NaNoWriMo, a month of writing madness, fun but stressful because in the middle of that is Thanksgiving, which I spent in Atlanta with family this year. So add travel and four days away at the home stretch of NaNo. About two weeks later my son, his wife and two children blew in and we were six in the house, plus dog and visitors. They left the day after Christmas and two days later, Sarah's mother came to visit so Sarah could meet her baby sister. She stayed until the 4th of January. Sprinkle in shopping and just visiting and you have a whirlwind holiday season, during which time my RA was raging.

But I'm not done yet. In the midst of all that, actually the first two weeks of December, both computers died. So, the best NaNo novel I've ever written languished on a disc. Thank goodness for that foresight. You can find details in other posts during that time. I think I whined a lot.

My new laptop showed up on December 24, when no one is going to be writing, even if the computer was ready for it. It took me another three weeks and two tech support calls to get it writing ready. Then I got the call to start a new job.

Well, shoot.

At last, yesterday I sat down with All That's Holy on Blue's screen. Yes, that is the name of my new laptop. The last one was Red. The new one is a pretty shade of blue. I was so excited I even bought a new mouse with a blue geometric design on it and a blue mouse pad.

I got Sarah off to school, got dressed for work, and sat down at the desk. I opened the file and put the story on the screen. I froze and stared at it and couldn't figure out what to do next or where to start. I was suddenly overwhelmed with the scope of the thing. It was a terrible sensation.

When I recovered a bit I decided to print it out to review it and see if that helped. So, I printed it and took one look at 183 pages of chaos and lay it carefully on the corner of the desk. It was 9 a.m. I went to work.

When I came home the pile was waiting. I ignored it and decided later that evening would be better for me. I don't know what I did the rest of the day. However, after getting Sarah to bed last night, I cranked Blue up and pulled up the story and was again overwhelmed by it.

I realized I'd been gone too long. I'd let the story sleep for over a month and despite everyone saying this is what you should do, it was the worst thing I could have done! My brain simply felt dazed at the thought of working on it. I'd kept writing after NaNo until the laptop blew up. Then I'd moved to the desktop and two days later the hard drive failed. Then, holidays and a full house hit me. So, from mid-December until mid-January, I had been unable to sit down and write. And now that I was raring to go... the car wouldn't start.

I don't know how long I stared at the screen; it could only have been minutes, but at some point, I began to read. The words rolled around in my head and images formed. Sights, sounds, and smells filled my head. Faces took shape. Gradually, I fell in love again with the characters, the place, and the story. I started adding things here and there. A scene was in the wrong place and I moved it. I saw one POV that has to go. Some scenes need to be cut, expanded, or added.

Something called me back to the present. I didn't want to return but I had to go to bed.

But... this morning, I'm packed and ready. It is a long trip. I've missed Whitehaven, Nick, and the king who goes barefoot in the palace. I want to see the hidden caverns of the Host. And I want to know how it all comes together.

You know, I have been gone too long.

Tell Me the Tale

Your Grandmother died and your Aunt Mary asked you to come and help clear out the house. When you get there, she is working in the attic. She's sitting on a stool and rummaging through a huge trunk and invites you to take the other stool and help her. 

The first thing you pull out is an old manila envelope that appears to be filled with papers. You dump them out and a legal-looking document and several photos fall into your lap. The photo at left is the first photo you pick up. 

You turn to Mary and ask her about it. She glances at it and pales.

So, tell me the tale.

The Beginning

At last, the first blog post of 2016. I'm actually relieved to be writing it. I kept wracking my brain for something to write but couldn't come up with a thing. I finally decided to just jump in and sink or swim. You'll have to be the judge.

The new computer arrived the day before Christmas and as of today, has everything I need loaded and ready to write. It feels very odd on several counts. I feel as if I don't know where to start. I've looked at my novel a few times in the last week but it felt foreign to me. Proof that you shouldn't leave a work in progress to lie fallow. I'll get back into it but I suspect it will take some hard work to get the creative flow back.

I also am missing my faithful Red. That was the laptop that died. The new one, named Blue, is nice and functional but everything is unfamiliar. The keyboard feels better but I've missed my lighted keys several times. I hate the number keypad. And all the insert, delete, home, PgDn, PgUp, and end keys are in a ridiculous place and I can't find them. The mouse pad is larger! I hate mouse pads of any size. This one doesn't disengage when I plug in my wireless mouse and so I'm getting errors in my typing every time I type. Yes, I tried to disengage it. I know how and it says it is but each time I start up the system, it resets. Then, there is the screen. I hate shiny screens. My old one had a great screen and everything was very clear and sharp and there were no reflections. This one... not so much. I'm telling myself that I only need it to write. That's it. And it really is a beautiful shade of blue. I do like the blue.

This is the first Christmas I actually got gifts related to writing. I loved it! I got a new writer's book for Christmas, Character, Emotions & Viewpoint, along with those lovely inspirational paintings my daughter-in-law made for me. The paintings are hanging in my den and I'm constantly imagining my certificates, degrees, and NaNoWriMo winner certificates surrounding them. I need to paint the room and get things back in order now that the holidays are over. The writing bug is gnawing at my brain.

As a treat to myself, besides the gift of Blue, I bought two other writing books I've been wanting: The Plot Whisperer and The Writer's Thesaurus. I'm about halfway finished with the Plot Whisperer. That is a good book. I will probably have to read it twice to really get the full benefit but already I understand some things I didn't before about plot.

The last of my Christmas guest will be leaving on Tuesday and after that things will settle down to more normal routine. I hope. I've had a wonderful holiday with all the family here and I am so glad they could come. But I'm ready for the holiday to be over and life to calm down.

I leave you with the hope that your new year has begun with great joy and excitement and promise. Keep writing, no matter how difficult it gets. When pain gnaws at you, let your mind build worlds filled with interesting characters who each have their own story to tell.

Buckle Up, We're Going to Crash

I don't know why things happen the way they do or why they happen when they do. I just know it is darned inconvenient. I was working on a couple of items, my anthology story, a power point presentation on Character Development, and the recent NaNo novel, All That's Holy. My laptop virtually exploded.

I said virtually. The screen went blank and the thing was making a noise like those seat belt warning buzzers in an old Plymouth. The system crashed, but I had to remove the battery to shut it down. Unplugging and turning it off didn't work. By then it was so hot I had to set it down. Once it cooled, it wouldn't come on. I just put a brand new hard drive in it three weeks ago. I'm annoyed.

But I've calmed down and ordered a new laptop today. I'm just glad I have my trusty desktop. I don't care what they say, desktops are still more reliable. I've been having some issues with it, too. I just discovered today that my suspicion was correct; the hard drive has some bad sectors. The one from
the laptop is small but after having researched, I find I can put it in the desktop! If it wasn't damaged in the crash.

Because of the above events, I've been unable to do any writing. In fact, Grammarly sent me an email to say I haven't written anything all week. Ya think? It was going very well, too.

I did get the laundry sorted thanks to my friend, Sue who came and helped me wash, fold, hang, and put away six loads. When I have problems with pain and fatigue, I simply can't get it all put away because the very act of sorting, folding, and hanging creates severe pain in my neck, shoulders, and back. So, it usually piles up in the spare room. I do a little here and there. but it is never finished before I have to wash the next three loads. Since David and his family will be here Saturday for the holiday, I had to get it all done. And it feels wonderful.

Now, I'm going to just attempt to get some things done before this desktop crashes again. On second thought, I'm going to take a nap.

One Snowy Night

Originally published on Multiply
Written 12/18/2007

We set off along the path that lead down to the church. The snow crunched beneath our feet and our breath hung in the air in clouds. The night was filled with that hush that one only hears during a heavy snowfall. Around us the trees creaked beneath the weight of snow and ice in their branches.

Occasionally, we heard a snapping sound followed by a crash as a limb gave way beneath its load. Everything has a breaking point, I thought.

My heavy coat gave me a sense of warmth but everywhere the air touched was chilled. My cheeks felt frozen and my lips numb. The tip of my nose tingled. I pulled my scarf up, around my face, leaving only my eyes so I didn't fall down. I'd probably be all right if I did fall. The ground was like a feather bed.

Just west of the church we came out of the trees, near Harper’s pasture. The moon was above the horizon and glowed through an opening in the clouds. I could see the church on the left and the Cooper place on the right. Their tall spruce decorated in colored lights glowed against the snow-frosted branches and turned the snow beneath it into a multicolored carpet from an some exotic land.

Lights glowed from every window of the Cooper home. They were a large family with half dozen children. Always when I walked by I could hear laughter or the wild chattering of playing children. It was a happy place. Even the snowman, in his scarf and slouch hat, wore a grin and waved.

I slipped my gloved hand into the crook of Tom's arm as we passed the end of the rail fence around the pasture. He smiled down at me and my heart leaped from the highest peak. He could still do that to me, after all this time. I slipped on a patch of ice and he steadied me, still smiling.

As we passed the church, Deacon James was leaving and he tipped his hat to us. Mr. Irving and his boy Billy slogged across the church yard toward the warmth of the sanctuary. It was such a lovely little church. I thought how much the windows looked like precious gems set in the walls. I suspected the windows of Heaven would look much like those windows, with their glowing jewels and the light of God illuminating them.

As if to confirm it, in the stillness it seemed as if the voice of an angel floated out on the air and up the road, flowing among the houses and into the mountain valleys in the distance. It was Maggie O'Hara, singing O Little Town of Bethlehem with the choir. I doubted if any angel could utter notes as beautiful as Maggie.

The blanket of snow that lay over roofs and mountainside alike reflected the silver of the moon and created a strangely comforting landscape. I looked up the road and in the distance, I could see the lights of the other village houses along the hillside. We lived on the edge of town and from here, the warm, soft glow was as peaceful and serene as ever a place could be. We walked in silence past the church and as I hugged Tom’s arm, I thought there was no place on earth I’d rather be tonight than in this snow covered place, listening to an angel’s voice sing of the new Savior of the World.