The Hunt for Motivation

Should I really write about writing? Or should I write about not writing? Because that's really how it has been going. Between a major flare, totaling my car, homework, major fatigue, and trying to get some of the projects I've begun finished I have not written a thing. I've been doing some reading as time allows.

Honestly, I've had to sleep nearly 2 hours during the day every day to stay mobile. The fatigue is just killing me slowly. For two weeks I seemed to be turning a corner. That is funnier than you know. On Friday the 21st, I got rear-ended in the parking lot of Rural King when someone else turned a corner and slammed into my car.  I was half out of my parking space when a Silverado hit me in the rear. He said he didn't see me. I think he probably didn't and with his arm in a sling, he probably couldn't handle that truck very well.

So, since the 21st, I've been sitting worrying about what I'm going to do. Can't afford a car payment now and no savings to buy a car. The cherry on the top is that my car is apparently only worth $3700. Wow. There was nothing wrong with it and if the bozo had paid attention, I'd have a car I know runs well and actually looked fine.

Did I mention that I get really angry when I think about this? I hate car shopping. My late husband always did that. He'd bring one home for me to drive and if we both liked it, we'd buy it. I'm not wired for this. And don't dare say anything to me about independence, power, and all that crap. On my home planet, I was a queen. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I'd give anything for the King to return. Or just let me go home again.

For now, I'm going to bed. I have no more desire to do another thing and I'm feeling a bit sick. Tomorrow, I begin again to look for an affordable vehicle. I believe there is a good car out there waiting for me. The search is just so overwhelming. I'm just having trouble making myself move.

Moving Better but Writing ... Not

So, how is September going for you?

For me, meh. No writing, unless you count this post but I've got a lot of stuff done in the house. Move a bit of furniture but hated it so moved it back. Swept floors, washed and put away tons of laundry. I still have the blasted sheets to do but don't I always. I hate folding sheets!

What's happening in your writing world? Come on! Spill the beans. No one here but me and you so just tell it already.

The best news I have today is that I've had so little pain with my joints that I'm a bit freaked out about it, thankful but freaked. I don't actually know why I've had so little pain. I had a horrible backache all night Saturday and yesterday. My lower back is just giving me a fit lately but I suspect that's because my weight since my surgery is ridiculous. And the mattress is not working. Yes, I need to address the weight issue but until recently, I could do very little physically.

I do have some speculation as to why my pain is better but it seems so off the wall I don't want to even tell it. I am going to tell the doctor if this trend continues until I see her.

Here's the thing. I started taking a supplement at least a month ago that I've never tried before. I did this because I ran across some disturbing information that I should have had before but didn't. MRI's with contrast put a heavy metal into the body. Whatever is in the dye is a heavy metal. Did you know that? I didn't. You know what I think when I hear the word dye... Rit. Yep. Apparently, this is not the stuff that comes in a little box or bottle at Wal-mart.

I looked up side effects while biting my nails and ran across this article:  https://gadoliniumtoxicity.com/help/symptoms/. I had one reaction that I remember. I felt very hot and as if there was tiny pellets vibrating under my skin. This was during the MRI and I told them about it. I did not like it. They said it was nothing to worry about. Uh... WRONG! 

That said, I researched heavy metal removal and found that Spirulina and Chlorella help do this. I went on Amazon and researched there until I found what I felt comfortable ordering. I've been taking it a month. And... well, I feel better. I can't explain it.

There is one problem. I've been taking diphenhydramine at night to help with my sinuses and because it really helps me sleeps better. I noticed once before when I took this that I had less joint pain. I researched for a connection to Benedryl and RA but found nothing but a study done in 1952 using Phenergan. It wasn't much help. However, recently I used Google Scholar and pulled up numerous studies that reference diphenhydramine and a treatment of RA! Totally stunned. The studies reference a drug called Remicade, which I do not take, and pretreatment with diphenhydramine. Skimming what I could from the abstracted posts, it appears that and acetaminophen together helps in some way with side effects/allergic reactions. ?? It was mostly greek to me but I was able to get a little logic from it. Now I want to know if my doctor will have a clue.

Don't care if she does or not. One or both of these have helped my pain levels stay way down and if I could lick the fatigue, I'd be jumping through hoops. I feel constantly tired enough to fall asleep if I lie down.

Now? Well, now I just want to sit down and write but when you feel this good and things are so far behind, you feel guilty not doing what needs to be done. I don't think I can win. I really don't.

For now, I'll just stay busy. Staying on my feet and moving around seems to keep me awake, although, I still feel very tired. I do hope your September is progressing well.