Twiddling My Thumbs

This is one writer who is just all messed up. I tell myself I should just throw in my keyboard and give up. I write a bit here and a bit there. The little voice in my head says time is running out and I'm just twiddling my thumbs. I don't know if that's true. But the nagging isn't helping me.

👈  I woke up at noon to this kind of day. The temperature is rather nice but the lack of sun is ominous. Winters in S. Indiana are quite gloomy, and someone with problems retaining vitamin D doesn't need gloomy skies. We need sun.

I'm exhausted. Possibly I've been sitting up too late watching funny videos. Because I live alone, have no place to go or am too ill to go, and I have no visitors, I've become more depressed. There is nothing I can do about it. I already take a pill for fibromyalgia that is an antidepressant. They told me I can't take anything else. So, medication is out.

Sitting up late watching Poldark is also not helpful. The story is so intense and the villain so insanely persistent that I have to watch until I reach a resolution to the current problem they're facing. So far, that's each season finale! A few nights ago I stopped at the end of the show just before it shows one of my favorite characters dying! I couldn't handle it. Depression and sad stories don't mix.

I've even tried reading, which usually helps me. I'm reading a book called Cold Water by Debbie Herbert. This is a very good book, and the story is intense. The antagonist is maddening but so is the protagonist. My problem is that the one is so wicked while the other is too passive and doing stupid things. In theory, I know this will workout and the crime solved but I've felt so under stress reading it. NO! I don't know why. It's just a book and I've read books far more disturbing that this one. It has taken weeks and I'm only halfway through. For me, that's insane. When I take this long to read a book, it's usually because it's terrible but I stick it out as a challenge. This one, I can't handle the way the action plays out. I know who did it so reading the ending won't help. 

As for writing. Pfft. I know I've written some but I've stopped paying attention to how much. Right now, I want to go to sleep and I didn't get out of bed till noon! 

Tomorrow I take my sister to have eye surgery. I must sleep tonight, no sitting up. She'll be staying with me for several days until she's able to see how to drive. That'll give me some company for a few days. My sisters are good company.

Now that I've bored even myself to tears, I'll stop here. I need to do a couple of things before sis gets here. I hope you have a productive writing day.