I Feel Good! I'm Going to Write Now

 It's what I call myself. Once I got the courage. When the writing group published our anthology, I called myself an author. But imposter syndrome is real.

The doctor finally prescribed a medicine that has nearly eliminated my pain. Miracles happen! Well, they do to me. Last night, I experienced a good night's rest, a first in about a year. Today, I didn't mind doing the laundry. Even after running a couple of errands, I didn't feel exhausted. 

You can't imagine how relieved I am. To get out of bed and be able to walk down the hall on feet that do not feel like railroad gravel is amazing. I can't describe getting out of a chair without my knees locking and screaming at me to sit down. Of course, walking anywhere for even a half-dozen steps seems like you won the lottery. 

My hands? You know the clunky things I used to write with... yeah, fingers. They're not hurting as much and they haven't been swelling. I have worn elastic fingerless gloves for at least a year now, not every night, but most. Haven't worn them at all this week. My fingers still hurt, but moving them is easier, and they hurt much less. 

I could even write a bit a over the weekend. That was the best feeling of all. I craved to write so much; only to find my hands hurt, my hips were excruciating, and my brain seemed to have taken a long trip. Pain steals every ounce of energy and joy. When I did write, I managed a few hundred words and have to stop and the writing was horrible. 

I am optimistic that the medicine will help me get back to writing regularly. One thing is for sure, I've done a lot of reading. I'm at 39 books on Goodreads and in the process of reading another right now. I've also been reading my Bible a lot more. I do a daily study in YouVersion every day but I also read my own Bible. 

If you're not into reading the Bible, I'd encourage you to do so. Even if you're not a Christian. If you're educated, profess to know a lot, and haven't read the cultural icons of the nation you live in, or in fact, the world, you're not educated. Most of our US Presidents have read the Bible. I suspect many world leaders have read it. To ignore something that has deeply impacted the government of our country and may others is just stupid.

Sermon over. 

Are you writing? Are you a writer? Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? You may be entitled to ... never mind.  

I feel so much better!

 

You Want the Good News First or the Bad News?

Let's start with the bad news. The past week has been long and painful but it ends with less pain and a lot of indigestion (GERD). Go figure! The meds I take for my RA cause stomach irritation and I have to take meds for that or I'm really sick within 24 hours and it takes a couple of days to get it under control. Well, they just released a study that says prolonged use of the very thing I take for the GERD causes kidney damage. So, I'm thinking I can alternate maybe. You know, take it ever other day.

Uh.... no.

Now, I'm considering whether I can drop the anti-inflammatory med (the cause of the GERD) to once a day. This is not a decision I'm going to like, actually. I'll regret it in three days. Pain will probably escalate, no, not probably, it will escalate.

See, what most people don't know is that all those meds they give you to stop joint destruction and lower your immune response, they don't do a darn thing for the actual inflammation and the pain that resulting from that. At least, not for me they don't. I have to take an NSAID to prevent pain from the RA.

Yes, that's the same reaction I had when I realized it. How do I know? I know because I tried going off the NSAID only once and I've had to go off it several times for medical reason. It ain't no picnic, sugar. Tylenol(c) works pretty good but that causes liver damage with prolonged use.

So, at least I get a choice! Liver damage or kidney damage? Someone flip that coin, please.

The good news is that despite a sore foot, sore knee and two sore fingers and a lot of sleepiness, I was able to put in a few hours this week working on the story line to All That's Holy. I'm trying to workout the religious organization that has such a big part in the story and to get the relationships of the surronding provinces since they're involved it what is going on. Truthfully, I don't really know what's going on and this is an effort to clarify it for me.

Look, this is a NaNo novel so it was written very fast and although it is a really good story, it is much bigger than NaNo and the very act of writing a NaNo novel means there is a lot of things missing.

I'm rather happy I got to work on this much. I had planned to do some writing, because working on related things generates the desire to jump into the writing, but I simply had so much fatigue that I couldn't focus after an hour working with the background.

Not a horrible week. Not totally unproductive but I didn't do exactly what I wanted to do but not a total loss. I can live with that.