Withdrawal Symptoms

I've spent the evening shutting down some social media stuff. Got rid of Wattpad. I never used it and haven't been back in months. No use taking up space with a handful of short stories. I tried it. It wasn't for me.

Next, I signed off on my personal blog. I didn't delete it, I just think its time is over. Whatever is going on with me now is not worth blogging about anymore. I will stick with the writing blog and try to focus on more interesting topics rather than the disaster my health is having on my writing. Yeah. That should be interesting.

A few weeks ago I decided not to use G+ anymore other than to post announcements and blog posts. Once they changed the format a couple of years ago, I lost interest. I keep getting invitations from men who have either two first names or have the last name first and a first name last - a sure sign they're not who they are pretending to be. And if I get one more that tells me how beautiful I am and how I look like an angel and how they want to get to know me.... well, I may send them a photo of the real me. No, I won't post it here!

Anyway, I've cut things out. I know they say platform and branding and marketing but honestly, I'm not sold on it. Takes a lot of time and by the time I finish doing things to "grow" it, I'm too tired to write. And if I'm not writing, I have nothing for that platform. I just want to write. And I've left it so late.

I did get some time in pseudo-writing. That sounds really active, kind of like sumo wrestler. Believe me, it wasn't. I spent about an hour working on some material details about things in the story. I need this because I the organization is a major "character" in this story and until I understand how it works, I'm not much good writing about it. I've spent about three hours this week just working on that and on details about the realm. I figured out very quickly that I could get caught up in the world building but I think I'm done now. I want to get a friend to read over it and see if it hangs together. Then I've got a resource of sorts.

That's it for tonight. I've been really depressed all day and I think I need to go to bed.

You Want the Good News First or the Bad News?

Let's start with the bad news. The past week has been long and painful but it ends with less pain and a lot of indigestion (GERD). Go figure! The meds I take for my RA cause stomach irritation and I have to take meds for that or I'm really sick within 24 hours and it takes a couple of days to get it under control. Well, they just released a study that says prolonged use of the very thing I take for the GERD causes kidney damage. So, I'm thinking I can alternate maybe. You know, take it ever other day.

Uh.... no.

Now, I'm considering whether I can drop the anti-inflammatory med (the cause of the GERD) to once a day. This is not a decision I'm going to like, actually. I'll regret it in three days. Pain will probably escalate, no, not probably, it will escalate.

See, what most people don't know is that all those meds they give you to stop joint destruction and lower your immune response, they don't do a darn thing for the actual inflammation and the pain that resulting from that. At least, not for me they don't. I have to take an NSAID to prevent pain from the RA.

Yes, that's the same reaction I had when I realized it. How do I know? I know because I tried going off the NSAID only once and I've had to go off it several times for medical reason. It ain't no picnic, sugar. Tylenol(c) works pretty good but that causes liver damage with prolonged use.

So, at least I get a choice! Liver damage or kidney damage? Someone flip that coin, please.

The good news is that despite a sore foot, sore knee and two sore fingers and a lot of sleepiness, I was able to put in a few hours this week working on the story line to All That's Holy. I'm trying to workout the religious organization that has such a big part in the story and to get the relationships of the surronding provinces since they're involved it what is going on. Truthfully, I don't really know what's going on and this is an effort to clarify it for me.

Look, this is a NaNo novel so it was written very fast and although it is a really good story, it is much bigger than NaNo and the very act of writing a NaNo novel means there is a lot of things missing.

I'm rather happy I got to work on this much. I had planned to do some writing, because working on related things generates the desire to jump into the writing, but I simply had so much fatigue that I couldn't focus after an hour working with the background.

Not a horrible week. Not totally unproductive but I didn't do exactly what I wanted to do but not a total loss. I can live with that.

Wake Up Call

It is amazing what a vitamin can do! There goes my sole exclamation point but I have to use it. Two weeks ago I remembered that I'd been without my D3 for at least 6weeks. I went out and picked some up and started taking 15,000 units a day. You may recall my boring post about my fatigue and brain fog overwhelming me.

I've been taking D3 for more than a decade and for about 5 years I've taken 10,000 units a day because that is the only way I could keep my levels at a normal level. Anything lower and I bottom out. This is due to the medications I take for my rheumatoid arthritis. Symptoms of D3 deficiency are numerous and you can Google them but believe me when I say they are profound. Everyone should insist on a blood test to check their levels. If you're below 30, that's too low. And I don't care what your doctor says! Do what it takes to get above that level. Increase your D and get regular blood work to monitor it. If your prescribed dose doesn't raise it, increase your dose anyway.

I digress.

So, two weeks of D3 and the fog has mostly cleared and the fatigue is now at a manageable level, not gone but not overwhelming me to the point I fall into a deep sleep in 30 seconds after sitting down. I'm not joking here. I was sleeping close to 12 hrs a day. I couldn't sit down or I'd fall asleep in minutes, despite my efforts to stay awake.

In fact, the improvement is so profound that I've got all laundry washed, dried and have only two loads left to put away. Three days ago, I had about 5 loads that needed putting away and 4 to wash. Yes, that's a lot for two people but I've simply been unable to do more than the bare essentials. I've washed dishes every day, swept, vacuumed, and mopped all the floors and made up all the beds. The house is clean! Read some blogs a month ago and you'll see what I mean.

A couple of days ago, I managed to write 308 words on All That's Holy. I felt energized and excited. It wasn't much and it wasn't earth-shaking, actually more fixing some areas and adding in, but it was such a relief to write something on one of the novels.

I've dropped the D3 back to 10,000 units this week and will see how I feel. I see my doctor tomorrow and I don't know how he'll react to this but whatever.

I'm about to do some writing now and will stop this post here. I hope you're writing, too. Pay attention to your body, particularly if you have an autoimmune disease. Research medical research and treatments. Look for new data on trials and tests. Take care of yourself and when you tired, rest. Just don't sleep 12 hours a day.

Selective Reading

Sarah and I had a conversation on the way home from school today. I always find these so entertaining and enlightening.

We've had a lot of rain in the last few weeks. Last weekend our street was flooded and, while we are above the flood zone, our neighbors are not. We didn't have to leave the house but several of them had to move their cars to higher ground. 

Today we had misting rain and Sarah noted that, like me, she loves rain. However, she said that she wasn't happy with the flooding issues. 

She commented, "I thought God said he wouldn't flood anything anymore?"

I said, "That's not exactly what he said."

"In the Bible it says he wouldn't make it flood anymore," she said.

"No, he said that he wouldn't destroy the world by flood anymore," I said.

"Oh." 

I added, "The next time he'll do it by fire."

"What?"

"The Bible says that the next time God will destroy the world by fire."

Long pause and then she said in a strained voice, "And that's why I don't read some chapters in the Bible."

Hmmm.

In The Rain

Pixabay.com

I wanted to see you,

needed to see you.

The rain reminded me 

of how much I missed you,

but my pain was lost

in the rain.

Then darkness fell,

and hid the world.

And it left me staring

at my own reflection

in a rain-washed glass

but my tears were lost

in the rain.