Revelations

I'm off Facebook for the moment, well, actually for January. I might stay off longer since I'm finding the hiatus soothing and relaxing.

My church does this "social media fast" every January. That isn't why I'm doing it. I'm doing it for me. Because I'm sick of Facebook. I love those real friends I'm made there but there is so much nastiness that I really don't like it.

So why am I there? I have a large family scattered across about 7 states. Keeping in touch is easier on Facebook. We even have a group page. I have writing groups that are interesting and some local folks that I consider friends. There are people I met through my writing I enjoy chatting with. Oh, and because "they" said if you're a writer, you need a page. So, here I are. . .well, there I are.

The thing is, the absence is having an interesting effect. No, I'm not working on the novels. I'm still blocked, mostly. I am, however, finding my other creative outlets coming out. I'm crocheting more if my hands aren't bothering me. I'm getting to the gym a tad more. I'm reading more. I play with the kittens. I get the laundry put away more often. I am on Instagram but that's a different thing altogether. They have a lot of craft ideas and so does Pinterest.

All around, my life is shifting back to center. Probably a good thing.

Does anyone remember what people were like before social media? Before the internet?  I know we think it's a wonderful thing. It might be if it were an actual tool rather than an escape or a platform. Look at that! The people pushing it even call it a "platform". It's designed solely to push agendas. Of course, it's marketed as a way for people to "connect" but that couldn't be further from the truth.

The reality is it drives a wedge between people already separated by distance. They're not close enough to hug you ... or slap you, so you can say what you want and consequences be damned. And the nicest people become rude and cruel. Me included. I try very hard not to be nasty, but with so many snowflakes around, no matter what you say someone gets offended. 

Think about the people you know on Facebook. I don't have thousands or even hundreds of friends. I'm very particular and have never sought to add people. I even have relatives not on my list. But how many do we really know? I'm fairly certain I know or am related to over 50% of my contacts personally. It's probably closer to 75%.  Can you say that? If so, that's great but I'm guessing that most people can't say that.

We're people who want to connect. And TPTB have sold us a gimmick that promises to do just that. And then your "friend" unfriends you because they disagreed with you or found your values offensive.

The fact is that you never connected at all. Real friends can accept differences in opinion, values, and colors without making a big stink about it. Real friends just ignore the irritations that arise between them or they approach it reasonably and without malice. They understand your stresses, pains, and troubles and if they don't, they need not take you to task over it. That thoughtless person who continually says hurtful things is not and never was a friend. I may very well fall in this category on someone's list. That's just the realities of Facebook. We aren't friends if we behave like antagonists.

None of this occurred to me until I separated myself from Facebook. I'll admit it is a kind of revelation. I seldom unfriend people, unless their material is so offensive I can't in good conscience keep them on. However, I've been unfriended a few times. I can be brutal in my statements. By that I mean direct and unpolitically correct. I don't hide behind masks very well. So, folks get annoyed and offended.

I rarely delete comments unless they're obscene because I figure if you want to make a fool of yourself, I won't stop you. My policy is to unfollow and see how that goes while taking steps so they don't see my post much if at all. I've blocked some post from certain contacts. Eventually, they'll drop me. I never get offended by this.

The realization that Facebook is a negative force in the world is probably not new but I think I've only recently realized the depth of the negativity. It isn't really a nice place, but it's convinced a lot of us it is. I'm going to have to reevaluate how I use it and how frequently.

If you've not taken time away from social media, and I mean more than a day or a week, I urge you to try a month-long fast. It may surprise you. Be advised, it is not as easy as you think. In fact, I suspect most won't be able to do it. Give it a shot, anyway.

Writer's Block

In the last week I've given a whole new meaning to the term Writer's Block. I suspect that it's the first time in history anyone can say they profited from Writer's Block, too.

Let me explain before you get more bored than usual. My church began a social media fast for two weeks and although I am not compelled to do so, I wanted to take part. Last year, I did a Facebook fast in February after they did a January fast. Yes, it was difficult but not impossible. If I'm honest, I must admit that I felt better after a month off Facebook. So, the prospect this year was enticing.

As writers we're all brainwashed to believe that unless we're flooding social media with our names, content, and merchandise no one will take us seriously as a writer/author, becoming little more than a piece of flotsam in the great garbage patch of failed authors. There's no proof but fear is a powerful motivator and a great salesman. To continue the analogy, I'm plankton in a large ocean.

I'm in my second week of my Facebook abstinence but I admit I broke it for one day to catch up and ensure my family/friends knew all was well and not to call out the marines. Well. No, that's not true. I wanted to see what was going one. Exactly. I'd been off for a week. Things could have been happening. Things were happening I wanted to share.

I hope by now you're on the edge of your seat wondering why I'm writing such a trivial and uninteresting post and you're wasting your time reading it. I'll tell you. It appears you can accomplish a lot when you're not lashed to Facebook.

The past week was .... eventful. I began physical therapy for my shoulder and back on Monday. I could hardly move by Tuesday and that lasted until Friday when I went back to PT and they put me through my paces again. The therapist told me if I continued to exercise I'd never be that sore again. I didn't point out that the fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis caused as much if not more pain than the PT caused and thus made it nearly impossible to exercise for months at a time. 

During the 3 days I couldn't move, I read a book by author, Patrick Rothfuss - The Name of the Wind. An excellent book of 600+ pages I encourage you to try. I read it in 4 days. Last night I started the second book in the series, The Wise Man's Fear. It has 1000 pages. I'm stunned but not stymied. I've read an old hardback copy of The Count of Monte Cristo and that had over 1000 pages of tiny print.

My second surprise came with the writing. In two of the last seven days I wrote over 3000 words. Even I gasp at that. I've also been working on some... I don't know what you call it. I'm going over notes on the world, people, and story history. I'm not a plotter but over the course of the last two years I've been studying a variety of books on plot to get a sense of how to do it. I think I'm closer to understanding it but it still feels like I'm clutching at mist.

I noticed that I enjoyed what I was doing more. I felt like I had more time. Probably why I could read that huge book so fast. Even my morning devotionals were less rushed. I don't recall missing social media as much as I expected.

So, how did I stay off Facebook for a week? First, I removed all the apps from my digital items: phone and Kindle. Then I reactivated an extension in my browser I used in the past: StayFocusd. If you follow the link, you can find a short review. This extension allows you to block any website or all of them for any amount of time and any number of days. Or you can block yourself from everything forever. That's called the Nuclear Option and I urge you to use caution when implementing this. They say you can't undo it.

Used wisely, the Nuclear Option is a marvel. I decided, with extreme trepidation, to use that option for my Facebook fast. If you set a time limit for total blocking, you just have to wait it out.  I set it to block Facebook and one other site for 48 hours (4 days). Once started, I can't get to the site and I can't stop the clock. If I try, a page pops up with big, bold words, "Shouldn't you be writing a novel?" I selected that statement. You can put anything you want as your statement and that made it more fun for me. Besides, it was the truth.

Despite my 48 hour limit, I managed a full 7 days, getting on Facebook only last night to update and check in. I reset the clock and am now on my second week. If this seems like cheating on a religious fast, I guess it is. But I think this has been the most productive I've been in a while and I've also been less inclined to cheat. Admit it, you want to get on and who'll know? Cheating, no matter what anyone else thinks, is a sin. I don't like the feeling of cheating, particularly when I'm cheating myself. Or God.

Despite having a lot of discomfort, I could find more productive things to do than cruise Facebook. The accomplishment felt great, too. Once the fast is over, I should probably think of a way to use this Writer's Block method more often.