Revelations

I'm off Facebook for the moment, well, actually for January. I might stay off longer since I'm finding the hiatus soothing and relaxing.

My church does this "social media fast" every January. That isn't why I'm doing it. I'm doing it for me. Because I'm sick of Facebook. I love those real friends I'm made there but there is so much nastiness that I really don't like it.

So why am I there? I have a large family scattered across about 7 states. Keeping in touch is easier on Facebook. We even have a group page. I have writing groups that are interesting and some local folks that I consider friends. There are people I met through my writing I enjoy chatting with. Oh, and because "they" said if you're a writer, you need a page. So, here I are. . .well, there I are.

The thing is, the absence is having an interesting effect. No, I'm not working on the novels. I'm still blocked, mostly. I am, however, finding my other creative outlets coming out. I'm crocheting more if my hands aren't bothering me. I'm getting to the gym a tad more. I'm reading more. I play with the kittens. I get the laundry put away more often. I am on Instagram but that's a different thing altogether. They have a lot of craft ideas and so does Pinterest.

All around, my life is shifting back to center. Probably a good thing.

Does anyone remember what people were like before social media? Before the internet?  I know we think it's a wonderful thing. It might be if it were an actual tool rather than an escape or a platform. Look at that! The people pushing it even call it a "platform". It's designed solely to push agendas. Of course, it's marketed as a way for people to "connect" but that couldn't be further from the truth.

The reality is it drives a wedge between people already separated by distance. They're not close enough to hug you ... or slap you, so you can say what you want and consequences be damned. And the nicest people become rude and cruel. Me included. I try very hard not to be nasty, but with so many snowflakes around, no matter what you say someone gets offended. 

Think about the people you know on Facebook. I don't have thousands or even hundreds of friends. I'm very particular and have never sought to add people. I even have relatives not on my list. But how many do we really know? I'm fairly certain I know or am related to over 50% of my contacts personally. It's probably closer to 75%.  Can you say that? If so, that's great but I'm guessing that most people can't say that.

We're people who want to connect. And TPTB have sold us a gimmick that promises to do just that. And then your "friend" unfriends you because they disagreed with you or found your values offensive.

The fact is that you never connected at all. Real friends can accept differences in opinion, values, and colors without making a big stink about it. Real friends just ignore the irritations that arise between them or they approach it reasonably and without malice. They understand your stresses, pains, and troubles and if they don't, they need not take you to task over it. That thoughtless person who continually says hurtful things is not and never was a friend. I may very well fall in this category on someone's list. That's just the realities of Facebook. We aren't friends if we behave like antagonists.

None of this occurred to me until I separated myself from Facebook. I'll admit it is a kind of revelation. I seldom unfriend people, unless their material is so offensive I can't in good conscience keep them on. However, I've been unfriended a few times. I can be brutal in my statements. By that I mean direct and unpolitically correct. I don't hide behind masks very well. So, folks get annoyed and offended.

I rarely delete comments unless they're obscene because I figure if you want to make a fool of yourself, I won't stop you. My policy is to unfollow and see how that goes while taking steps so they don't see my post much if at all. I've blocked some post from certain contacts. Eventually, they'll drop me. I never get offended by this.

The realization that Facebook is a negative force in the world is probably not new but I think I've only recently realized the depth of the negativity. It isn't really a nice place, but it's convinced a lot of us it is. I'm going to have to reevaluate how I use it and how frequently.

If you've not taken time away from social media, and I mean more than a day or a week, I urge you to try a month-long fast. It may surprise you. Be advised, it is not as easy as you think. In fact, I suspect most won't be able to do it. Give it a shot, anyway.