Battle of Wits

Today I embraced my seniority.

You mean you admitted you're old? 

What? NO! OK. Yes, I did. I called SWIRCA to get information about their exercise programs. I heard they had them and well...

You also admitted you're fat?

NO! Now, wait a minute. Sheesh, I really need to find someone to talk to besides myself.

Oh, I think you're doing fine. Honesty is good for the soul. Keep going. I'm listening. 

I can't talk to you. You're insulting. I'm trying to make a point here and you're twisting my words.

Remember, I'm the logical side of your brain. 

Yes, but I'm right brained.

Meaningless.

I also wrote 771 words today. 

Oh, so you got off your fat butt and walked over to the computer. Great start on that exercise program. What story was it?

....

That's not really steam coming out your ears, you know. 

Shows how good my imagination is. 

Story?

It doesn't have a name. It is one that was lying around in my files. 

Wasting away, unlike some people we know. So, a "new" story. While the others lie unfinished and hopelessly confused. You've left Simon with a dead agent. You've left Alexandra with a nearly dead boyfriend. You left Beth and her two children homeless with a suitcase of stolen money. You've left Marley sitting in the woods.

No! Marley has been rescued.

Oh yeah, right! And her attacker is on his way to kill her so she can't tell on him. That's an improvement. Never mind the gaping hole right in the middle of the darn thing! Oh, and let me see... You have another dead guy in the church basement floating in two feet of water. How'm I doing?

Great. Just great.

You know, you really shouldn't grind your teeth like that. You'll need dentures.

Are you going soft on me? No comment on all the dental work?

Well, no one would have known if you hadn't mentioned it.

I'm leaving now. 

So, where are you going?

To bed. It's late and 5 a.m. comes early.

I'm not sleepy. 

That figures. There is a puzzle book on the Kindle. That'll put you down.

I'll be here in the morning. Waiting.